Negative comments can hurt, especially when they are personal attacks and not constructive. I have heard many celebrities say that when they do not read the reviews or negative stories about them. One said that he knows when his work is good or not so good and that he values his own opinion.
When we take negative comments to heart – they hurt our self-esteem. Our self-esteem is our most important asset. We must have a strong self-concept and believe in ourselves in order achieve our goals.
It’s most important to take the source of the comments into consideration. A good reason not to listen to attacks, is that they often do nothing to help us. Some people do use negative comments as fuel to do better, but I think there a more positive ways to be motivated to do our best.
We are usually our own toughest critic. When we have done our best, we know it and feel it. When we have not performed according to our own expectations, we know that too, and can make course corrections.
Coaches can be very effective in helping us correct our course and stay on it. The comments from coaches are given with the sole purpose of helping us improve and do our best, while keeping our self-esteem and motivation intact.
The best way to handle negative comments is to rise above them. When and if there is a kernel of truth in the comments, we can make changes. But I feel that we should not pass on negative comments we hear about others to them directly. We are delivering third party information which can be misinterpreted. The exception to this is if a person is in danger or we feel that they must hear the negative comments in order to protect themselves from harm, then it is appropriate to tell them what we have heard.
In general, let’s spend more time listening to our own advice. We know what is right, wrong, good and bad. We need to take up our own counsel.